Mother’s Day Was Painful. Here’s How My Husband & I Made it Special
Mother’s Day is coming fast and, for many, there are heavy emotions that pack this short twenty-four-hour day.
For six years, my husband, Nate, and I tried to grow our family. Through doctors and a private adoption agency, the Lord sweetly and unexpectedly answered our prayers through foster care.
During our six-year journey, Mother’s Day was one of the hardest days. And it was always on a Sunday when I had to see people. I was often greeted with: “happy Mother’s day, how many kids get to celebrate you today?” It was coming from a place of love on their end. Yet, with a forced smile and sad eyes, I would answer, “prayerfully, many someday. But none today.”
Grief & Hope Amid the Season of Waiting
On Mother’s Day, during the season of waiting, I allowed myself to grieve for a few minutes. Weeping, praying out to our Heavenly Father—who loves us, knows the deepest desires of our hearts for children, and weeps with us as he carries us through. He can handle our lamenting.
But, I wouldn’t stay in the grief. I would then praise the God who has blessed me with so much already! Through Jesus, he has saved me from the depths of sin and calls me a daughter! He has blessed me with a wonderful family, beautiful home, and the most amazing Christ-centered husband! So, I thanked him for all that he is and all that he has done. And wow did that help my aching and longing heart!
Another thing that helped us navigate Mother’s Day while we were on our journey to parenthood was the fact that we didn’t celebrate “Mother’s Day” Sure, we called our moms and loved on them. For my husband and I though, Mother’s Day became Wife Appreciation Day (similarly, we celebrated Father’s Day as Husband Appreciation Day). It was so fun having Nate dote on me all day as we spent time together with our meals and going for walks; he often surprised me with flowers (my favorite) as another way to make the day special! If you aren’t married, I encourage you to find another way to celebrate and relax on Mother’s Day. There are lots of ways to do so, and I recommend it; starting our “new” holiday allowed me—on a day when my heart was heavy—to still feel incredibly loved!
Celebrating No Matter the Season
Praise the Lord for answering our prayers—we have two beautiful boys in our home. My first Mother’s Day last year was low key, due to COVID; to be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way! It was similar to Wife Appreciation Day where we all ate together, went for a hike, and all the boys brought me flowers. But instead of “wife,” the sweetest noise to my ears was “Happy Mama’s Day.” I wept for joy as I thanked the Lord for the faces in front of me!
For those who are still in the waiting this Mother’s Day. Please know that you are not alone. I will be praying for you! Build a team of friends and family who will love on you. Plan something that day to look forward to! And for those who are first-time mothers this Mother’s Day: slow down, look at the beautiful faces of your children, and thank our heavenly Father for choosing you to be their mama.